Roger’s Success Story

ROGER HESS—GOD HEALS A BROKEN HEART AT THE OGDEN RESCUE MISSION

Just over 23 years ago my life changed forever. An out-of-control car barreled into my wife’s car and she died. A big part of me died that day too. I stared using all the drugs I could, including meth, to numb the pain, which seemed too great to bear when I was sober.

While I was eventually able to kick my substance abuse problem and have been sober for several years now, my broken soul still landed me at the Ogden Rescue Mission, desperate for help.

I loved my wife. We both worked in the food industry. She was a waitress and later a general manager of a restaurant and I was a long-time cook. She meant the world to me. We were married later in life, she had older children from a previous relationship, and it was great to marry into an existing family.

We had a home together and a nice life. But after she was killed and I started using drugs to numb the pain, I lost my house and gave up on life. When I was able to get sober, my family reached out to me. My sister who lived in Roy, let me live in her house. But last year she drowned in her jacuzzi and I packed a few things and started living in my car. I just couldn’t stay in the house anymore.

Losing the Desire to Live

At the time my sister died, I had still never dealt with the death of my wife and my sister’s passing put me into a deep depression. Twice I took a loaded gun and put it inside my mouth, but something stopped me from pulling the trigger. I know now that something was God.

I was living inside of my car. Parking in random parking lots overnight in Roy and Ogden. One day I drove to Pineview Reservoir and pushed down on the gas intending to drive over the edge into the water and end my life. Again, something caused me to slam the brake before my car entered the water. I put my car in reverse, got in position again, and sped towards the lake. But once again, I found myself slamming on the brake just before it was too late.

I drove back down the canyon and, as was my custom, found a spot to park and spend the night. Eventually some officers approached me and told me they had noticed me sleeping in my car. They said I couldn’t keep living like that and was trespassing. I moved my car around but the police kept finding me. They knew I was homeless and eventually cited me and told me I needed to report to court.

I explained my situation to the police and the judge and they had genuine compassion on me. The police told me I should go to the Ogden Rescue Mission. They said the Mission could help me. When I went back to court a second time, the judge told me the same thing. She said I should try to get support at the Ogden Rescue Mission.

Finding New Life at the Mission

Truth be told, I had driven past the Ogden Rescue Mission a thousand times, but I had never given the Mission a second thought. Still, I took the advice of the judge and the police and found myself walking into the Ogden Rescue Mission and asking for help.

At first, they gave me a bed, but after a few days of talking with me and hearing my story, they asked me if I wanted to join the New Life Program, which they said could provide a pathway off the streets and into a new life. While I was sober, the staff could see I had serious past hurts that were contributing to my homeless lifestyle and hopelessness.

Forgiving the Unforgivable 

As part of the New Life Program, I was assigned a counselor who led me through the Mission’s Genesis Process counseling curriculum. That counseling was one of the hardest things I have ever done. It required me to relive all the things I had buried deep in my heart. There is a section of the counseling that helps you attempt forgiveness of people who have wronged you. Before that point, I had never forgiven the man who killed my wife. He was a convicted meth addict who had been released from prison one week earlier. After he ran his car into my wife, he tested positive for both meth and alcohol. While my wife was killed, he was relatively unharmed. I attended his sentencing and felt like he showed no remorse whatsoever. Moreover, he was given what I considered a very light sentence.

Then judge kicked me out of court after I heard the sentencing, I was so incensed. Still, I learned through the New Life Program, that I needed to forgive even this man, if I were to possibly move forward in hope. While I never grew up going to church, I learned that my newfound faith in Jesus had created forgiveness for me. Because Jesus had forgiven me of so much, it was possible that I could forgive even the man who killed my wife.

Set Up for Success

It was hard but I completed the counseling, which has been a true blessing. The New Life Program has helped me develop a relationship with God through the Bible studies, connecting with my local church (the Genesis Project) and the nightly chapel services. Before coming to the Ogden Rescue Mission, I was so far away from God that I wanted to die, but I don’t feel like that anymore.

I also learned that I am eligible to receive my wife’s Social Security survivor’s benefits and as a person over 60 I am close to getting my own social security. I have been able to save up some of those benefits and I am looking for a part time job that fits with my culinary skills, maybe at a grocery store deli.

With a job and social security benefits and some savings I am searching for housing and hope to graduate from the New Life Program soon. I thank all of you for supporting the Ogden Rescue Mission and helping to create a place for people like me. A year ago, I had no hope and wanted to end my own life. Today I have a healed heart and hope for a real future. Your support truly saved my life and I cannot thank you enough.